The Psychology of BDSM: Why Do Any People Want It?

People have been curious about BDSM since the release of “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Do you think you can give it a shot? Is there anything wrong with people that want BDSM? Why do people want it so much?

There’s a lot of shady territory around this sexual activity.

As for most other sexual kinks, as it became more mainstream (largely due to the aforementioned phenomenally popular book), more debates ensued, resulting in several contentious arguments.

However, psychologists have also delved into the topic, providing us with a better explanation of why certain people are drawn to BDSM and why they love it.

 

What Exactly Does Bdsm Stand For?

To understand why people like BDSM, it is necessary to first define BDSM.

BDSM is an “umbrella word” that encompasses a wide range of subcategories:

  • Bondage and Discipline are abbreviations for Bondage and Discipline, respectively.
  • D & S stands for Domination and Submission.
  • Sadism and Masochism are abbreviations for Sadism and Masochism, respectively.

BDSM may include a broad variety of erotic acts, making it difficult to describe. However, one factor remains: in BDSM, one party is aggressive while the other is submissive. It’s essentially a role-playing game in which one person assumes care over the other, often by physical constraints such as slavery, torture, or something else.

“It can involve equipment; it can involve restraints; it may involve pre-determined scripts and roles; it may involve temporary, acute moments of pain,” says Dr. Marty Klein. Or it may be none of these.” According to Klein, both appearance and words may have an impact in this situation.

BDSM is often associated with discomfort, but this is not the case. Trust, connectivity, and wellbeing are the true foundations of BDSM scenarios. BDSM operations necessitate full confidence in one another; without it, the atmosphere is impossible to appreciate. Another important factor is communication – so much so that, according to Klein, BDSM may require much more talking than real sexual contact.

Another critical aspect is safety. All couples have settled to ground standards and adhere to them. Neither participant crosses those boundaries. BDSM is neither manipulative nor impulsive, and it never involves torture or suffering.

“BDSM is about trust, not pain; submission, not powerlessness; superiority, not selfishness; and changing traditional conceptions of sex,” Klein said.

Most notably, it is often consenting and adheres to the strict guidelines decided upon by the parties.

 

Is Bdsm Natural or a Symptom of Mental Health Issues?

Many people have questioned if BDSM is really “natural” because of the heavy societal stigma attached to it. Any medical practitioners have regarded this phenomenon as perverse, and it is still thought that individuals who engage in BDSM have psychiatric problems or are behaving this way as a result of previous sexual harassment.

However, evidence shows that this assumption is incorrect. According to one 2008 report, people who had engaged in BDSM were not more depressed or nervous, and they were not more likely to have been forced into sexual practices.

BDSM might be a little more of a common concern as a result of Fifty Shades of Grey, but it’s also a fairly dreaded issue and the stigma doesn’t appear to go anywhere. BDSM is fairly popular, even though many people don’t want to speak about it – in a 2017 Belgian survey, half of the participants had engaged in BDSM. Earlier research discovered that about 2% of sexually involved individuals participated in BDSM.

Whatever the real statistics are, it’s obvious that BDSM is a mainstream kink, and there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing about or participating in it. Sadism and masochism are classified as psychiatric diseases in the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) only if they inflict extreme discomfort or if the other individual does not agree.

So, as long as BDSM is done by consenting adults, it is a perfectly legal behavior that is neither “deviant” nor “false.”

 

Why Do People Want Bdsm?

While BDSM is a reasonably popular kink, what exactly motivates people to pursue it or do it regularly?

Researchers have attempted to find a solution, but most experiments have been inconclusive so far. However, it has been observed that individuals who perform BDSM are more likely to be:

  • more outgoing
  • more receptive to new experiences/more open-minded
  • fewer neurotic
  • more susceptible to rejection
  • generally happier
  • higher in terms of emotional well-being

 

It allows you to Express your inner Desires in a Comfortable And Secure Atmosphere

Most citizens dislike bossy and demanding people, but dominance is usually welcomed. Those that are powerful on the inside may feel forced by society to relinquish their supremacy. The same holds with submissive behavior: those who are more agreeable by default may feel pulled about in life, causing them to behave harder than they would want.

BDSM roleplay allows the parties to carry out fantasies that they would usually suppress. The dominant group can be bossy and demanding, whereas the submissive party can be accommodating. In certain ways, BDSM lets you deal with the pressures that culture can place on you and you don’t have to suppress your feelings. Instead, you should let it all out in a quiet place and no one can judge you.

BDSM also allows you to try out for another job. If you’re instinctively authoritarian but want to feel submissive, or if you’re submissive but want to try having authority, this is a perfect way to do it with no threats or repercussions.

 

It’s Liberating, Inspiring, and Allows you to Live out your Dreams

People pursue BDSM for a variety of purposes, but all agree on one thing: it’s a liberating activity. When coping with difficult circumstances in life, BDSM will offer an escape where you can let go of power, if only for a brief moment, and feel liberated – free of all responsibility and the tension that comes with it.

At the same time, influencing someone else’s body will make you feel really strong. BDSM is not only motivating for the person, but it may also help to improve the partnership. As a submissive, you’ll input your life in the possession of someone else, which is as sexy as it comes.

Around the same moment, the powerful side is aware that there is someone who has put their full faith in his possession. What might be more romantic than thinking you can completely depend on your partner?

Role-play is often important in BDSM since that is simply what it is – romantic role-play. BDSM allows you to take a break from your everyday stresses and pretend to be someone else for a bit. Playing out your dreams with romantic role-playing will offer your partnership an enjoyable boost while also decreasing tension in general.

BDSM remains one of the most stigmatized sexual practices, with many misconceptions about it. It does not, however, imply suffering and is never associated with abuse. Instead, it’s a romantic and enjoyable way to engage with your girlfriend and temporarily forget about your everyday input worries.

And, yes, there’s nothing wrong with trying it – it may be helpful to both your satisfaction and the happiness in your relationship.