Is the one you love deceiving you? Have they led you to think everything was really just to reveal the surprising reality, leaving you shocked and betrayed? You can sound as though the floor has been ripped out from under you. The love tale you’ve created together has been shaken by an earthquake.
Did they mislead you into thinking they were over their ex and will never get back together? Did they trick you into believing they have more resources or better education than they did? Have they been deceiving you and letting you believe they were single or divorced? Did they lead you to believe they were just living with someone on a platonic basis? Were you led to think you were the only one they were dating or staying with?
Nobody wants to discover that what they thought was real was really fake. If this happens to you, you’re still curious why they want to deceive you rather than tell you the facts. Is it either a bunch of liars, or is there anything more going on? Any individual may tell you the truth about why they were deceiving you, but the vast majority would not. They’ve always cheated and are eager to do it again.
Is this to say they never worried for you or that they don’t worry for you right now? Nope, it doesn’t. All that suggests is that they can cheat again to back up their first lie. Don’t hold it against yourself if you were misled. They did a decent job of convincing you, didn’t they? Were there any warning signs? You won’t in most situations, but you can in some.
Don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re feeling dumb. Pass ahead when you’ve learned your lesson. Accept that the individual has violated your faith (and probably your heart), but it does not have to be the end of the universe. Things aren’t quite as simple as black and white. Here, I’m not suggesting there’s a legitimate excuse for anyone to be deceptive, but paranoia causes people to do dumb stuff. It is never a positive idea for anyone to mislead you regarding their standing, but some people do it for better motives than others
If they were doing that to lure you into having an affair with no hope of altering their status at some time, they are a manipulative jerk. However, if they were in a loveless marriage where they wanted to make work but just made it harder, and then they found you while they weren’t looking, they might have spontaneously agreed to hold that “detail” to themselves. They felt light but held their mouth shut because they had gone too long without seeing one. Again, it is wrong to confuse citizens, but this is a better excuse than the previous one.
The bottom line is that you must accept the reality that this entity misled you into believing something that was not real. If you plan to negotiate with them, keep in mind that their agenda will take precedence over your emotions. Confidence can never be granted lightly again. Know that they will try to deceive you as long as it suits the greater good. If they gain confidence, that is good; if they do not, it is also fine. You would be better off without them and with someone that would not deceive you and is upfront and truthful with you.