Why Does He Cause You Pain?

Why does he offend your sensibilities? Why would it seem like he is unconcerned with your emotions or how badly he has affected you? He has seen the harm he has caused, he has seen you weep and get angry, and still, he continues to do what he thinks causes you pain. After everything you\’ve been through and done with him, why does he want to harm your feelings? Would this imply that he doesn\’t love you or that your emotions are unimportant to him?

To begin with, there are likely to be broken feelings in every given partnership. It is up to the pair to talk about and express what happened, learn from it, recover from it, and move on. That is common in all relationships. Hurt feelings occur.

It is not natural for someone you trust and treat well to choose to do something that they are well aware would harm your feelings. I hate to say it, but someone you trust and treat kindly who does this isn\’t concerned about your thoughts. Sorry for the inconvenience, but it is real. It isn\’t to suggest they don\’t think for you; it\’s just that they don\’t care sufficiently for your emotions to do the right thing. They choose their emotions above yours and leave you to live with the consequences.

Sure, it hurts them that your feelings have been damaged, but it bothers you even more than it bothers them. So, if you\’re curious why he hurts your feelings, now you do. He\’s either doing that because he doesn\’t care for you or your emotions at all, in which case you can get out of there and stop it, or he does care, so your feelings about those topics aren\’t that relevant to him.

So, the real question is, why do you stick with someone who doesn\’t care if they hurt your feelings? Do you prefer being around people like that? Doubtful, but if you do, please obtain clinical assistance. Sure, they have a bright hand, but that is insufficient to compensate for the reality that they don\’t care that what they do or say affects the feelings. Sorry, but if you don\’t take a stance, a relationship like this can just get worse. Don\’t wait for God to intervene. It would be up to you to prioritize your emotions, so it must begin with YOU.

If you prioritize your feelings about THEM over your own, is it any wonder that they don\’t prioritize yours? You bear some of the blame on how others regard you. If he damages your emotions, punish him in the same way you will punish someone else. Don\’t make them feel special and they\’re not making you feel special. Demonstrate to them that your emotions are just as valuable to you as theirs.

You could be reluctant to do so because of the repercussions, such as the possibility that they may become enraged and abandon you. The thing is that thinking that way leads you to not punish him for damaging your emotions, which is one of the biggest reasons he is apt to do it again and again. The result of not speaking up for yourself and expecting better care and consideration is that this friendship can just deteriorate. If you really wish this friendship to improve, you must avoid making excuses and allowing it to deteriorate.

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