The planet is shrinking, and more people than ever are living and working apart from loved ones. Far more people are finding their partners online.
What was the final result? Long-distance marriages are more common than ever before.
If your wife has just passed on, or if you found the love of your life on the internet, you might be asking if it’s worth it to pursue things further because of the misconceptions about long-distance love that still exists.
Here, we look at the reality behind these LDR misconceptions, so you can make a more educated choice on whether a long-distance partnership is right for you.
Myth 1: Long-distance Partnerships are Never Effective in The Long Term
When you’ve told your friends and family about your long-distance partnership, you’ve received the same response: “it’ll never succeed.”
However, this kind of cynicism is not just unhelpful; it is also false!
There are many instances of long-distance partnerships that have succeeded flawlessly. We just need to refer to tend our grandparents’ generation and see how many couples were divorced during WWII and went on to have successful and stable relationships.
Take a look at this memoir, Love At The Speed Of Email, about a happy long-distance love for a more recent example. Keep in mind that absence helps the heart develop fonder.
Myth 2: Long-distance Partnerships Aren’t “Real” Relationships
“I wonder why people always underestimate the validity of long-distance relationships,” an anonymous author once wrote. Before I could even contact his skin, I fell in love with his spirit. If it isn’t real love, just tell me what it is.”
This perfectly captures the reality of a long-distance friendship. After all, what exactly is a relationship?
If it involves expressing your thoughts and desires with each other, remaining committed to each other and genuinely caring about your spouse anywhere they are in the world, so a long-distance partnership is just as genuine as one in which you are together 24 hours a day.
Myth 3: If You Live in an Ldr, You Would Communicate With Each Other Every Day
It’s natural to want to speak to your companion every day, however you don’t have to.
The trick to long-distance partnership success is to feel strong and independent enough to cope without continually communicating with your spouse.
Going a day without speaking does not make you feel any less comfortable in your partnership.
Myth 4: The Sooner You Text and Chat, The Happier You Will Be
Whether you’re in a long-term friendship, you shouldn’t feel obligated to be in contact all the time. After all, you wouldn’t spend 24 hours a day together if you lived in the same location.
In every partnership, space, both physical and interactive, is essential. It not only helps you to preserve your independence, but it also allows you to respect each other more the next time you communicate.
There is such a phenomenon as over-communicating.
Myth 5: You Can Never Go to Bed Upset
We have a tendency to think that we can never go to bed angry, but this is simply bad advice.
It is never a smart idea to try to overcome your frustration late at night while you are tired. You would not put enough consideration into your speech, which will lead to you saying something you would later regret. An even bigger squabble could erupt.
This is particularly true if your companion resides thousands of miles away. If you can see your loved one in person, it is simpler to make up after a war, but when you are apart, it is more complicated to forgive and forget.
Rather than exploding with anger, take a breather. Discuss the questions the following day after you’ve slept on them, and you’ll discover you have a lot clearer outlook on the issues at hand.
Myth 6: You Shouldn’t Have to Beg Anyone to Make Time for You
We frequently believe that our friends should understand that we want them to find more time for us. However, all too much, we refuse to recognize the signs.
Open communication is essential in any stable partnership, but it is particularly important in long-distance relationships.
Physical signs are also only appearing in person, so it’s understandable if your loved one is unaware of how you’re doing.
If you wish to spend some of your partner’s time, don’t be shy to discuss it with them.
Myth 7: Don’t Initiate Difficult Discussions Over The Phone
If you have something uncomfortable to share with your mates, such as an annoyance or a fear, it might be tempting to wait for the next time you’re together before bringing it up.
This, though, is a terrible decision.
When you get together, you’ll be too concerned about ruining the visit to talk about your issues, and anyway, it’s good to get used to holding tough talks regularly.
The ability to explore the problems that concern you, particularly though they are painful to handle, is the foundation of every good partnership.
Myth 8: If Hanging Out With Your Mates Makes Your Long-distance Girlfriend Jealous and Nervous, You Can Refrain
Your long-distance partnership is unlikely to last if your girlfriend is constantly competitive and anxious about your friendships.
It’s vital to have a life outside of your partnership, whether you’re together or separated, but it’s particularly important if your loved one resides in another area of the country or even the globe.
Giving up your mates only because your wife is jealous can just separate you and contribute to feelings of disappointment and anger – not the basis of a strong and solid friendship.
Your spouse can recognize your desire for a social life outside of your partnership and should help you to improve, rather than sever, your friendships.
If a single relationship seems to be in danger, it might be worth exploring. Otherwise, isolating yourself from the larger social circle is a terrible movie.
Myth No. 9: You’ve Found The One
In the early stages of a long-distance partnership, it is common to believe that your companion is flawless in any way.
Although it is enticing to believe this, it is not right. Nobody is flawless, because the distance is allowing you to see them through rose-coloured lenses.
When you’re getting to know each other, it’s all too tempting to emphasize the good aspects of their personality while downplaying the negatives.
You’ll eventually understand all the nuances of their personalities when you get to know each other better. Nonetheless, keep in mind that just because you’re seeing the halo effect of your long-distance companion doesn’t mean they’re not the best one for you.
Though they may not be the ideal individual, they may be the ideal person for you.
Myth 10: Until The Void Is Closed, It Will Be Okay
It’s enticing to believe that if you’re no longer separated, everything would be better in your partnership.
This is not the case, and in reality, the inverse could be valid.
In the short term, you may find it more difficult to make it work while you discover new stuff about each other, relax into new habits, and try to sort out how the partnership functions while you’re up close and personal with no miles between you.