Both partners in a partnership should feel loved, valued, and safe. Where there is extreme insecurity in the partnership, this holy grail of stable relationship qualities is shattered.
Relationship vulnerability may express itself in a variety of destructive ways, ranging from envy to manipulating behaviour. Your marital insecurities may or may not be justified, but they result in risky habits regardless of your justification.
What’s more, research has shown that such vulnerability will lead to health issues later in life.
Here are eight symptoms of partnership vulnerability and what you should do about it.
1. Fear of Missing a Friend
The persistent fear of losing your partner is one symptom that you are unhappy in your relationship. Relationship insecurities make you feel like you aren’t worth anyone else’s attention, so you fret about whether your friend genuinely loves you, loves intimacy, is drawn to you, considers you irritating, or tries to dump you for anyone else. This paranoia is all the more justified if you’ve gone through a tough time with your mate, during which they might have lost your confidence.
In reality, emotional attachment vulnerability was shown to be an indicator of sexual frustration in a sample of couples undergoing marital counselling.
A friendship is doomed if it lacks confidence. You can not be together if you are genuinely afraid that you would not be willing to trust your partner. Is it worth it if you’re insecure in love? A stable friendship is built on trust.
2. Consuming Enviousness
In a stable friendship, there is a certain amount of envy. After all, you’re in a serious partnership, and you don’t want anyone else to destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to build. Although there comes a time where healthy envy becomes burning paranoia. Common manifestations of envy include:
- Spying on your friend
- Constantly inquiring about the partner’s location
- Controlling acts, such as requiring the termination of friendships because they render you unhappy
- Being too attached or clingy to your companion
- Spite and pettiness, such as finding a new acquaintance or flirting with another individual only to make your buddy jealous
Jealousy is exceedingly tough, but not impossible to solve. This sly emotion may seem perfectly warranted at the moment, but it is not worth losing a good friendship for. Practice letting goes of those hang-ups and establishing confidence in a friendship.
3. Demanding Electronic Connectivity
If you seek passwords to your spouse’s mobile gadgets, such as their computer, notebook, or social network pages, this is an indication that you are unhappy in your marriage. You may be suspicious, worrying whether your friend is using unsafe applications or has inappropriate discussions in private messages, but you should not be policing them in the hopes of preserving your friendship.
It can be frightening at first but accepting that you cannot alter your partner’s behaviour by watching them like a security officer will provide you with a sense of calm. In the end, you either trust or don’t trust your friend.
4. You are Always on Social Media
And if you have your partner’s e-mail addresses or keys to their phone, your insecurities would not be silenced. Instead of heading directly to your friend’s laptop, you obsessively search their social media. You may also Google your spouse’s name or keep tabs on their ex-partners on social media. This will result in toxic disagreements and greater insecurities.
Since social media is a notorious relationship killer, there is reason to be sceptical of the ease at which infidelity will occur through networking sites. According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the term “Facebook” appears in one-third of divorce filings.
According to a Divorce-Online UK poll, one of every three divorces were the product of disputes about social networking.
That being said, being obsessed by a new ‘like’ on your friend’s photographs or being acutely mindful of someone who is conversing with them is not a healthy way to live.
5. Fear and Scepticism Regarding Your Partner’s Whereabouts
Constantly checking your partner’s location and motives can be exhausting on both sides and can sour your friendship. Unfortunately, when you feel nervous, trusting your partner is the most difficult thing to do. When you’re disagreeing with your companion over their real whereabouts, tell yourself that if they’ve never given you cause to question them, you shouldn’t. This is one of the symptoms of an insecure guy in love; insecure husbands are more likely to exhibit this conduct than insecure wives.
6. The Need For Continuous Reassurance
Is it true that I am attractive? If you have feelings for me? Do you just want to spend time with me? Are you being honest? Why do you want me in the first place?
Many of these concerns are motivated by insecurities. If you feel unsure about yourself, you may find yourself continually seeking validation from your partner.
Excessive reassurance seeking by a companion may be an indication of attachment anxiety-related depression. Look at what this thesis discovered in this respect.
So, while any reassurance from your spouse is supposed to make you feel unique in your partnership, it does not dominate your conversations. If you are stressed or need constant reassurance, therapy can be a great place to get to know yourself better and continue to enjoy who you are.
7. You Dislike Being Left Isolated
Whether you’re in a bad relationship, being single is the greatest fear. The quiet is eerie. You’d rather be anywhere than alone in your thoughts. This fear of being alone will even cause you to remain in an abusive relationship that does not merit your time or energy. Get counselling or confide in a peer or family member who may provide you with an outside view about whether it is easier to be alone and continue to respect yourself than to remain in a dysfunctional relationship.
8. You Stop The Conflict
When you are grappling with fear in your relationship, you can resist conflict at all costs, even when it is necessary. This is because you are afraid that your companion may abandon you at the first hint of resistance. It is important to practise truthful conversation if you wish to pursue a stable partnership. This entails discussing difficult subjects openly and expressing your opinions and emotions with one another.
If you are continuously wary about your friend and feel the need to inquire about their location with questions such as “How long were you gone?” and “Who were you with?” It is a strong indication that you are unhappy about your partnership. Work on establishing a relationship with your partner and setting expectations centred on getting to know yourself better. Your partner cannot remove your insecurities; only you can do that.
Overcoming intimacy vulnerability is a solitary struggle. If you want to know how to conquer fear in a relationship, you must first learn to balance yourself. However, if you believe that you do not know how to avoid being uncomfortable in a relationship or how to overcome insecurities in a relationship, there is support available. A therapist will advise you about how to cope with relationship insecurities. Understanding how to resolve insecurities in a partnership begins by determining what triggers uncertainty in a relationship. And then would you be able to understand how to feel safe and happy in a partnership.
If you find yourself wondering, “Why am I so uncomfortable in my relationship?” and are unable to resolve the issue on your own, you must obtain professional assistance. You would never be able to have a stable and satisfying friendship if you do not understand how to cope with confidence problems and insecurities. Relationship paranoia will sever a couple’s bond; symptoms of vulnerability in a woman or a man must be identified to save the relationship.