Many people have told me that the guy in their lives has difficulty communicating himself verbally, but they believe he deeply cares about them. When I encounter comments like these, I make a “puzzled look.” Who matters how he looks on the inside? If he acts as if he doesn’t think on the floor, why does it matter what he thinks “deep down”? What good is “deep down” in the first place? Does it matter that he has emotions if you have to dig and try and seek them?
Everyday life provides us with many opportunities to convince people we feel for them, so why should they have to guess? The main issue is, how do you realize what he thinks about you? Are you confident you’re not delusory if he won’t mention that or do anything that demonstrates that? And, if he says and does the polar opposite of what you believe he feels “deep down,” why do you consider what he feels “deep down”? You’re getting handled like crap regularly, so why should you find solace in what he’s feeling deep down? Come on, let’s go.
Is this “deep down” really a reason to stick with those who owe us next to zero socially or behaviorally in exchange for anything we give them? Why don’t we see the truth, which is that they don’t reveal or convey affection, and just concentrate on the enigmatic, veiled “deep down” feelings? Is there a purpose behind it? Will those deep down emotions ever come to the surface? Why do you believe they would if they haven’t already? Why are you going to be with someone who is emotionally unreliable if they cannot show you or demonstrate to you that they care for you?