Dr. Gary Chapman, a famous marital psychologist, concluded in his best-selling novel, The 5 Love Languages, that people have one or two main love languages – terms of praise, quality time, presents, acts of service, or physical contact. Although all of these love languages are significant to some extent, Chapman contends that people “speak” and appreciate love better in their primary love language (s).
What are the five different types of love languages?
What do these five love languages look like in practice? Here is some additional info.
1. Positive Affirmations
According to Chapman, actions should not necessarily talk louder than sentences. Compliments and other terms of affection, gratitude, and encouragement mean a lot to you if this is your love language. You value hearing the words “I love you.” It’s also important to understand why you’re loved. Harsh language and insults will leave deep wounds that are difficult to forget.
2. Spending Quality Time
If you place a strong emphasis on quality time, nothing means “I love you” more than other people spending time with you and offering you their undivided attention. It is important to you that other people are there for you. It’s much cooler that they will place those tasks on pause so they can concentrate solely on you. You can be particularly hurt when people are busy, cancel appointments, or do not respond well to you.
Receiving presents and other tangible expressions of affection is one of the main love languages if this is one of them. When people offer you presents or delight you with meaningful acts, you feel understood and valued. Those presents or gestures are visible tokens of effort and concern to you. If people forget your birthday and other significant anniversaries (or send you thoughtless or inconsiderate gifts), it can be devastating.
4. Service Acts
As people do simple acts to support or benefit you – to relieve the pressure of your duties – you feel more loved if you speak this language. Taking out the garbage, food shopping, babysitting the kids, cooking supper, paying bills… there are many opportunities to express affection to somebody who enjoys acts of support. You feel ignored and unloved when people seem to be idle, do not carry up with their promises, or make further work for you.
5. Physical Contact
If this is one of your primary love languages, you are most likely a “sensitive” human. You enjoy giving and receiving embraces, back pats, massages, and other thoughtful and necessary touches. These touches convey feelings of attachment, compassion, empathy, and care to you. When the people you care for do not interact with you in this way, you will feel distant, detached, and unloved.
What is your most important romantic language?
You could have already identified your primary love language after reading the list above (or your top two). A questionnaire, on the other hand, may also be useful in confirming your instincts or suggesting a choice you hadn’t considered. And if you believe you already know your main love language, consider the following:
- When it asks whether you’re married or single, choose single. (Even though you’re dating, click single.) To be frank, none of their questionnaires impressed me. However, I believe their singles questionnaire is better structured and worded than their married questionnaire.)
Things to worry about
Consider the following issues. Best still, talk about them with your girlfriend or near friends: