Many people have firmly assumed for decades that the next logical phase in their maturity is to meet a spouse and marry. Even if marriage is not influenced by traditional values, many people expect to find a “missing connection” – someone that can complete their lives and offer them happiness.
This conviction is so strong that certain people are afraid they can never be fulfilled if they do not have a spouse.
Technology seems to be showing this to be incorrect. Michigan State University investigated the association between happiness and marriages to determine how significant a part marriage can play in a person’s overall happiness and well-being.
According to one of the study’s contributors, William Chopik, you shouldn’t stake your happiness on marriage or relationships.
The study tracked participants from various partnership groups: some were married their whole lives, some were dating, some split, and some were unmarried for some time.
After that, the participants were asked to explain their level of life satisfaction.
Surprisingly, researchers discovered that people who had been single their whole lives were as pleased as those who had already been in partnerships. This suggests that to be fulfilled, you don’t need to be in a relationship at all.
Married people did have a somewhat higher degree of satisfaction, but the gap between married people and other classes was so minor that it wasn’t really important, according to the researchers.
Happiness cannot be contained in other individuals, according to the study. Mates, interests, and careers are also sources of pleasure for single individuals. “If the aim is to pursue pleasure, it seems a little ridiculous that people place such a high value on being partnered,” Chopik said.
The researchers also went so far as to conclude that if somebody isn’t satisfied now, marriage is unlikely to affect that.
“If you can achieve satisfaction and fulfilment as a single individual, you’ll certainly have happiness — whether you have a ring on your finger or not,” the researchers concluded.
Happiness Comes First, Followed By Marriage
Love has long been synonymous with pleasure. It’s so deeply ingrained in American culture that almost every mother imparts one piece of advice to her children: get married and have children.
There is undeniably a connection between relationships and satisfaction. Hundreds of prominent psychologists regard marriage as the pinnacle of well-being. Harvard University professor Tal Ben-Shahar has also referred to intimate partnerships as “supreme.”
If our world changes, this assumption is getting more precarious, according to the findings of the most recent research. It is entirely feasible to be fulfilled, secure, and full without a life partner. According to one report, single people find it easier to flourish personally when they don’t have to care about someone else.
Single individuals, understandably, have the opportunities to spend on themselves, which allows them to find fresh vitality and, in certain ways, rebuild themselves.
And possibly the most convincing advantage to becoming single is that there is much less tension in everyday life so there is no need to cope with family responsibilities.
Of course, there are often friends, grandparents, brothers, and other families, but people in committed partnerships also have to contend with their partners’ spouses, which is also often stressful. Under the worst-case scenario, you could find yourself unable to tolerate your partner’s relatives at all.
Relationships are seldom easy to maintain. You must comply with other people’s desires, reach common ground, and even make concessions. People also lose themselves in a partnership, becoming codependent and losing their personality.
But what if you find you simply need to be in a partnership, or if you can’t seem to be happy as a single person? Instead of entering a partnership only to get one, take the following advice:
1. Develop a Hobby
As amusing as it might seem, people often seek out partnerships because their lives are monotonous. Your subconscious is actively working to keep you involved, even though you are entirely oblivious of it. And, well, the circadian clock has its own set of results.
To keep yourself busy, take up new interests or devote more time to something that you love. Instead of browsing through Tinder, try taking dance classes, learning a language, or doing something that makes you happy.
By directing your attention to things that make you happy, you’ll quickly learn that you don’t require intimate partnerships to feel good about your life.
2. Get s Sense of Satisfaction From Your Career
Working on something important is one of the best ways to be fulfilled and content with your life.
If your work causes you so much frustration and stressful thoughts, loving feelings will behave similarly to comfort food in that they relieve stress and help you forget about your career. “I wish I could go home after work and embrace someone.” Does this sound familiar?
Instead of pushing yourself to focus on something that makes you unhappy, try changing occupations, professions, or taking on new side-projects that can provide you with a little extra fulfilment. Launch your webshop, start tweeting, sell crafts – whatever makes you happy.
3. Increase the Socialization But Don’t Put too Much Emphasis on Having a Girlfriend
It’s in our essence to be social. You might also claim it’s ingrained in our DNA. The fact that married people seem to be content isn’t even down to the fact that they’re in a committed partnership. Much of the time, it stems from meeting someone with whom to socialize.
When you’re looking for a mate, you can develop tunnel vision in which you keep trying to incorporate another individual into a future life plan. Even when you’re swiping on Tinder, you might find yourself thinking about how those characteristics might work into your life.
This tunnel thinking causes a scenario in which you are actively looking to choose the right match while not taking others for who they are.
Instead of bringing yourself to potential heartbreak, just go out and socialize to have fun. Have a different passion, go on trips, and explore something outside of your comfort zone. Don’t look for a future mate with any man or woman you meet. Only talking to others and no plans to take things any deeper.
If you happen to meet love this way, that’s fantastic. If not, that’s fine as well. Your satisfaction arises from the inside, not from outside influences.