Why can’t I resist falling in love with him? That is one of the most often asked questions by clients and blog followers. When a partnership finishes, we are expected to press forward and let go of the emotions we once had. The issue is that many individuals have a difficult time going on because they are unable or unable to let go of their emotions for someone they are no longer in a relationship with.
When marriages end, it is normal for one person to have already passed on emotionally, whilst the other was caught off guard and is still completely emotionally involved in the partnership. It’s difficult to see those we care for pass forward and demonstrate to us, and the rest of the planet, through tools like social media, that they no longer think about us. When this occurs, it tears our hearts and causes us immeasurable pain.
Realistically, falling in love and falling out of love always require time. It might seem that your wife spontaneously falls out of love with you, but this is not the case. They may have kept the process from you for a long time, or they may not have been as in love with you on the inside as they were on the outside. Don’t feel too hard on yourself for getting caught off guard. Some individuals are good at concealing their emotions, and that should not make you foolish for not seeing what they have worked so hard to hide.
If they were having an affair and you were unaware, it would not render you a fool; however, it demonstrates how skilled your ex-wife was at deception. Remember, you can not want to deal with how easily they started loving you and moving on to find life without you. They had a head start, so don’t bother to catch up. Work for yourself and allow yourself the time you need to get to where they are.
Regardless of how the friendship started, it is difficult to avoid loving them. You had a history and shared fun times. And if it seems like you should turn your emotions on and off like a light switch, this is not the case. When you care for others, you must grieve their death at a pace that is appropriate for you. Don’t let your friends and relatives push you to move forward so soon, even though they mean well. But don’t add to your suffering by doing anything wrong that would leave you trapped. Take the requisite action to mend your shattered heart.
You do not live your life through them. Don’t want to gather every scrap of detail you can on how they’re doing. Don’t add to the anguish by looking for their “look how content I am” images on social media. Make no excuses for not seeing or contacting them. Don’t convince yourself you’re unlovable, unworthy, or that you’ll never be satisfied again. Don’t cling to the false belief that you’ll get back together someday. Live for the now, not the past.
You will love somebody and survive without them. You must understand that they are no longer a part of your existence and that you have no power over this. What you do have power over is how you spend your time today. Find a way to incorporate something into your daily life that gives you pleasure and a sense of self. If you made the mistake of encouraging yourself to revolve your life around one guy, learn from it and don’t make the same mistake again. We should enjoy those we’ve passed on without letting it prevent us from loving anyone else in the future.