Your previous sexual experience might not be a factor in your current partnership. However, the adage “What happens in Vegas remains in Vegas” might not be applicable here. Why is this so?
Since your new partner will be curious about your sexual history, especially if it does not involve him. And they do not always agree on what they discover. Here’s how to avoid putting your new friendship in jeopardy because of your sexual history.
To Various Individuals, Sex Involves Different Things
People have varying perspectives about women. You can believe that it can only be discussed with someone you care for or your spouse. However, not everybody shares these sentiments. Casual sex, one-night stands, open relationships, and other sexual experiences are all common among certain people.
For eg, for certain males, sex consists solely of physical sex and enjoyment. There is nothing more or less. Others believe that, at least in a sexual sense, it is all about claiming possession of the individual. Some men regard women as a personal union and a spiritual union.
But what if you’ve only thought of sex as a physical, pleasurable experience rather than a holy blessing in a committed relationship? What if you do see things that way, but you’ve had a lot of committed relationships before this one? How can you broach the subject of your sexual history without tearing up bridges?
Is it Important to Divulge?
Yes, it is important to be transparent and frank about everyone you are with. However, there is such a thing as sharing so much. Surprisingly, only about 22% of women in this study feel relaxed discussing their sexual experiences with their husbands.
So, ask yourself one crucial question: Do you want to discuss your sexual past with your partner? If you don’t want to, don’t. You are not obligated to tell him all the filthy data. If he presses you for details, it may be because he is nervous and wants to feel safe and in control.
However, guess what? That is not your duty, and it is not your concern.
Are you on the Same Page When it Comes to Sex?
If you and your boyfriend enjoy fun, intimate partnerships and the sex that comes with them, it would be less risky to discuss your sexual history with him.
However, if you are more liberal and he is more traditional, you must balance the benefits and drawbacks. What would you get by disclosing this personal knowledge about yourself? If you believe it would be ineffective, hold it to yourself.
Choose An Appropriate Moment To Share.
If your girlfriend expresses concern or curiosity about your marital history, it doesn’t imply you have to spill the beans right away. It is up to you to determine the best moment.
But you certainly won’t say anything when you’re snuggled up in bed with him. Before you tell your story, it’s a smart idea to ask him if it’s a good time and if he’s able to hear it.
That is simply polite and considerate conduct. You wouldn’t want to burden someone who is depressed or having a rough day.
Don’t Reveal Anything
Even if a previous romantic partner was fantastic and you had out-of-body intercourse with him, never tell anything to your new partner. Consider it for a moment. How would you respond if he did the same thing to you? You’d most likely feel very nervous and want to learn everything you might about this other lady.
In reality, you might simply decide not to score the sex – because it was really bad. If that’s the case, you should joke about it right now. You might even be frank and claim, “Yeah, the sex was great with other guys.” But it’s much cooler while you’re there.” That’s a switch on.
Set The Limits
Before you discuss your sexual past, plan exactly how you want it to proceed. Will your partner, for example, be required to reveal his background as well? Can you have your first and last names? What about the number of spouses or sexual experiences – is that an option?
Set expectations for yourself and with him before having this discussion. This will help people avoid feelings of betrayal, insecurity, and inadequacy.
To Stop Making a Snap Decision, Test The Waters First.
All have various sexual desires, and some of them manifest themselves in real life. And don’t overlook that there are many forms to be erotic. There are several ways to have intercourse, as well as several positions to go with it.
That doesn’t imply that everybody would enjoy it. So, if you’re scared your new girlfriend would flip out and judge you because of everything you did in the past, explore the waters first to prevent judgment.
Bring up the fact that you learned of “(blank)” or thought about people doing it this way, and measure his response. You should relax if he seems to be very available. He’s not going to flip out if you announce (if you reveal) that you’ve done the same thing.
Take care, though, whether he denies such behavior or becomes too negative. You’ll just want to hold this to yourself.
Show how your Sexual History has Rendered You a Happier Person
If you have a busy sexual history, your guy might doubt you or feel inferior as a result. In his eyes, he’s yet another of the countless men with whom you’ve had sex.
But note – and tell him – that now that you’ve had a lot more sex, you still have more practice. You’re no longer a novice. You know what you do and don’t like. You know how to please yourself, and he knows how to please you as well. That’s not a negative thing, is it?
Another way to alleviate the confusion is to tell your new mate that you were not dating at the time your romantic past occurred. You probably didn’t even know each other existed. So your sexual history should not imply that you are unfaithful to him today. It also does not imply that you no longer respect and care about him.
It suggests you had sex before him. And it isn’t too difficult to comprehend.