If you have romantic dreams that you are ashamed to discuss? Perhaps you are ashamed of your sexual desires, or you are scared that your spouse will criticize or condemn you. And rejection is particularly painful when it comes to sex and affection. As a result, we prefer to avoid it.
Any romantic desires, on the other hand, are perfectly acceptable and can be discussed with your wife. If you’re not sure how to proceed, keep reading.
Can you recall the Friends segment “The Princess Leia Fantasy”? Ross and Chandler attempt to express their romantic desires with one another. Ross enjoys it when women dress up as Star Wars’ Princess Leia. Chandler admits that when he has sex, he imagines glamorous supermodels, but memories of his mother creep into his head and spoil the sex.
Ross not only completely condemns Chandler for this, but he even begins to see his mother as he spends time with his girlfriend, Rachel. In brief, this episode is a hilarious reminder that when you express your sexual desires, things don’t necessarily go as expected.
And if this has happened to you before, it’s normal that you don’t want to chance being hurt and rejected again.
Although this does not have to be the case. So, what are those romantic fantasies that you’d like to discuss (and even try) but are too afraid to bring up?
What Exactly are Romantic Fantasies?
Sexual illusions are now a nuanced subject that psychologists have researched extensively. For the time being, suffice it to assume that romantic dreams are whatever you find enticing.
So, while sexual dreams have a reputation for being naughty, extremely erotic, and sometimes incorrect, this is not necessarily the case.
Sexual Fantasies That are Often Encountered
Sexual desires may be very diverse. It all depends on the individual. Many desires, though, maybe reduced to a few prototypes: role-playing, power roles, partner fantasies, novels, and emotions.
In role-playing, either or more people carry out various tasks, such as an instructor and a pupil. Alternatively, a doctor and a customer.
Power dynamics entail one person getting complete autonomy and the other becoming submissive.
A spouse’s fantasy will be fantasizing about having intercourse with a single human. When it comes to plot dreams, you will map out a whole storyline and scenario in your mind.
And imagining how one sexual experience will make you feel is an emotional illusion.
If you can see, there are several different kinds of sexual dreams, and odds are you’ve seen one (or two) of them before. So what are we going to do with these fantasies?
Recognizing and Accepting The Erotic Desires
You certainly don’t want to bring up your romantic dreams with your girlfriend whether you feel guilty or dirty about them. So, it’s fair to assume that the first phase in dealing with your sexual desires is to consider and discuss them.
This could be tough at first because you’re used to shooing them away and feeling guilty about it. Maybe your fantasies around power dynamics make you sound perverted or unfeminist. Alternatively, fantasies can seem filthy and disgusting.
So, the first step is to admit that you have these dreams for some purpose. The reality is that they are dreams, not realities. And if you’re not okay with them, you’re not a terrible guy, and you don’t have to try them in real life.
But it’s still worth remembering the worst-case scenario if you should pursue them.
Finally, don’t feel inadequate when your sexual desires are simple and transparent in comparison to other people’s complex, voyeuristic fantasies. After all, a contrast is a pleasure robber – even when it comes to erotic desires.
How to Begin Sexual Fantasies With Your Partner
It may be frightening to discuss romantic desires with your partner when you are scared of being refused. This means that you are certain that you are going to warn them about everything for which they will be unprepared.
But, for both your sake and his, it’s a smart thing to be a little proactive and set the stage.
Send Them a Heads-up
If it has taken you some time to accept your erotic fantasy, keep in mind that your spouse might not be fully prepared for it either.
So, do him a favor and let him know ahead of time that you want to speak to him about anything significant that could catch him off guard.
Tell Him How You Do
Consider the reality that you find it arousing to picture your mate playing out your dream. Most people like the thought of surprising their spouse, and even if the dream comes as a surprise, the fact that it arouses you can make them more receptive to it.
Be ready for Him to Tell No
Although intimacy is an important aspect of any stable partnership, carrying out sexual desires is not. So, even though you wish to indulge in a romantic dream, it doesn’t imply your mate can or has to.
He has the right to tell no, because even though it isn’t the response you want to know, that might happen, and that’s fine. It’s important to express your feelings for him and the sex you have with him – dreams or not.
Prepare to Explain Why Your Fantasy is Important to You
One of the reasons people avoid sexual desires is that they don’t understand why it’s so necessary for their spouse to have them. So, if your wife isn’t interested in the sexual activities in your imagination, you might explain why that specific act is vital to you.
We indulge in sexual activity because it feels nice, but figuring out “why” it feels good will make your spouse appreciate why one specific sexual fantasy is significant to you.
Another way to describe your romantic fantasy is to illustrate how it enhances an enticing attribute that your spouse already has.
For eg, if your partner is adventurous in bed, your imagination might encourage him to be even more so. If he’s still intimate, how can your imagination offer him yet more opportunities to be intimate and achieve high-octane closeness?
Sexual desires are nothing more than that. Any of them can be left unfinished. However, if you’re at ease with them, strive not to shame your sexuality or dreams. You are welcome to swap them with your girlfriend.
And who knows, maybe he’ll pursue them and even share some of his own.