Is it true love or something else? What we believe is love is sometimes something different altogether, and that something is not healthy. About everybody has used the expression, “If you don’t respect yourself, you can’t love someone else.” It’s so. You see what passion feels like if you love yourself. You understand how to handle someone and how you should be handled. You understand the difference between love and demeaning dialogue.
You value yourself because you enjoy yourself. You are still acutely aware of disrespect and would not accept it. You attract and are drawn to people who value you. You are insecure if you do not love yourself. You find yourself drawn to those who make you feel vulnerable. You want to earn their affections but still feeling unworthy of them.
When we are younger, it seems to be more difficult to genuinely love ourselves so many individuals are always on the road to discovering who they truly are. This may explain why younger women are more likely to fall in love with “poor guys” that are mean to them or unkind to them. They can believe they like the obstacle or someone who holds them on their toes. They took advantage of their vulnerability.
Feeling insecure makes us nervous, but we want to capture the affections of those that make us insecure to get rid of the feeling. It seems to be a passion, but it is not. It just does not make sense to care about someone who handles you as though you are trash. You may have feelings for them, but they are bad feelings.
Now, if anyone was nice to you at one stage, and feelings formed between you, and then they unexpectedly (or through a long time) started to treat you poorly, it is true love since it was there at one point. But if it never was or has never been, consider your true emotional interest in this guy.
Maybe it’s desire, where the sexual pull renders them attractive even though they haven’t treated you well. You may be concerned with improving this person’s opinion of you and viewing you in a different light. You might believe that things will be more like a romantic relationship between you. But the fact is that you won’t be able to love yourself until you heal your wounds and live with your insecurities.
And if you don’t respect yourself, you can draw and be drawn to the wrong individuals. If you don’t respect yourself and are fortunate enough to meet someone who will genuinely love you, you may end up sabotaging the partnership. What’s the bottom line? If you want true love in your life, it must begin with you.