Let’s be pals! It’s something we’ve all seen before.
Can you recall hearing these phrases over and over and not understanding what to do, feeling overwhelmed, angry, and having a difficult time acknowledging them?
He wished to be your mate, but for whatever excuse, you twisted and flipped it and tried all you might to show him that friendship was not what you desired and that you desired a partnership. Take heart, for it may not be another example of unrequited passion. Developing friendship before the partnership is ultimately beneficial to all of you.
We are often Trapped Between our Desires and Truth.
After years of attempting to persuade him, you eventually agreed to give up and move away. Nonetheless, it took you a long time to let go.
Unfortunately, several people have been through this, wishing and desiring to be with someone who does not want a commitment and is just interested in becoming buddies or only becoming friends before dating. So, is it better to prioritize friendship over relationships? Let us investigate.
So, what’s the Big Deal with Becoming Friends?
Friendship is the first and most significant thing you require when it comes to forming a friendship. Being friends allows you to get to know the guy for who he is and to discover stuff about him that you might not have known otherwise.
When you enter a friendship without becoming mates, you can encounter a variety of problems and obstacles. You start to demand something from the guy, which can lead to unreasonable expectations. By placing friendship ahead of a partnership, you would be able to quickly determine if he is the ideal person to meet or not since there would be fewer pretensions and more personal room to discuss important issues.
Friends come First, then Lovers.
Why place too much burden on others regardless of your own needs and expectations? There are no expectations when you form a true relationship. You are free to be yourself, and he is free to be himself. You will find out everything there is to discover about each other. You don’t have to think about posing as someone you’re not.
He will unwind feeling that he will be himself without fear of being asked regarding a partnership. Essentially, you place the ball in his hands and allow him to take the initiative. Creating a friendship connection before entering into a partnership is much preferable to having lust get the best of you and finding later that you can’t even be decent mates.
You are Free to Date other Women.
There are no strings tied to friendship, and you are allowed to date and see other people if you like. You are not bound to him, you are not obliged to him, and you give him no reasons for your actions.
When you hear the words “let’s be buddies,” take it in stride and offer him just that, friendship, with no expectation of it blossoming into a partnership. You might discover that becoming friends is the best option and that you don’t want to be in a relationship with him.
It is preferable to discover that you do not want a commitment during the acquaintance process rather than later after you have emotionally bonded with him. Being mates before lovers often means that the original lust fades.
You will see the other individual for who they are but still presenting your true self to them, which is a great basis for a long-term friendship. In any situation, friendship is essential in such a partnership to keep the cogs going.
Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray did it in Lost In Translation, Uma Thurman and John Travolta did it in Pulp Fiction, and Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney did it in My Best Friend’s Wedding in classic form. They all prioritized friendship over relationships, and their platonic connection turned out just fine. In actual life, the same thing will happen. Only if developing a friendship before pursuing a partnership is a top priority for you.
Until Dating, Create a Friendship.
Being buddies before dating is also a terrible decision because it indicates that the friendship is not shallow. In reality, becoming a friend first increases the odds of developing a happy relationship. However, before entering into a serious relationship, you might be confused and have concerns such as “how to be friends first before dating” or “how long can you be friends before dating.” It all depends on the initial chemistry and how it evolves when you get to know each other. Some people go from mates to lovers in a matter of months, whilst others can take years.
So, the next time he says, “Let’s be buddies,” tell okay, and keep in mind that this is a chance for you to get to know him without getting emotionally bound. It is not the end of the universe to choose friendship over intimacy. And if it isn’t what you like or plan, there’s nothing wrong with being his buddy and knowing that that is what he needs. Being friends is always the better option; even though it stinks and you sound terrible, being friends isn’t that grim.
Here are 12 examples of why saying yes to let’s be mates is the greatest thing that might happen to you:
- You get to meet him for who he is, not who he pretends to be.
- You are free to be yourself
- You are not required to be responsible.
- If you like, you will date and get to know other people.
- You will determine if becoming friends with him is preferable to being in a relationship with him.
- You should not have to be compelled to be yourself or anyone else.
- You should not need to persuade him to want you.
- You don’t have to persuade him that you’re the “One.”
- You are not required to discuss entering into a partnership with him.
- You are not required to answer his calls or messages at any time if you are unable or unable to do so.
- You are not required to meet with him daily.
- You should not need to persuade him that you are a decent guy.
Putting friendship ahead of a partnership allows you to be open, to be yourself, and to choose whether or not to be in a relationship with him.
After reading this, hopefully, you’ll remember that “Let’s Be Friends” isn’t such a poor statement after all.